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Writer's pictureMatthew Cossens

The Only Competition....


Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a very competitive person. Sometimes too competitive. Even a fun, little game can turn into a reason to compete, particularly if the person I am playing with has a similar inclination.


I will look to bring people into a competitive environment as it brings me joy, I love it.


Competition gives me energy, brings me to life and ultimately brings out the best in me physically, mentally and emotional.


It is #3 on my Gallup Strengths and to this day is a big reason why I have been successful in pursuits both in and outside of work.


Competition though can be both a superpower or a curse, depending on how/when it comes out. I can get lost in competition and sometimes this makes me lose sight of the bigger picture.


Particularly if it’s a game made for fun and I have turned it into a competition (think office table tennis or pool) which I can take way too seriously and can turn into me looking to dominate the competition.


Will this ever change completely, probably not? Can I control the negative of this at times – definitely! In some situations I should just enjoy the game and camaraderie of helping others develop.


Thanks to some people around me I have learnt to temper this competitive edge and focus it where and when it matters most, not direct it towards every activity or every opponent.


It’s easy for people to see this side of me, but what they don’t see, is that I don’t see anyone as competition.


My real competition, my only competition is with myself!



That’s a competition I take significantly more seriously than any game I’ve ever played, any result I have ever achieved. That’s what really drives me. How can I be better, each and every day in the facets of my life that matter. Family, Work, Health/Fitness, Financial, Spiritual and from a Personal Development perspective. How can I level up, time and time again and chase after my potential.


I love this quote from Matthew McConaughey who chases his ideal self, ten years in the future. He says, “Every day, every week, every month, and every year of my life, my hero is always 10 years away. I’m never going to beat my hero. I’m not gonna attain that. I know I’m not! That’s just fine with me, because it keeps me with somebody to keep on chasing.”




So what does self-competition look like?

  1. A clear identity in the area in which you are looking to compete with yourself. (who will you become?)

  2. What’s your current state/benchmark in this area? (be honest and understand the journey ahead, in the detail) Set higher standards, always!

  3. What are the real goals? How do you define and measure success?

  4. Define what a win or loss looks like for you. (not through other’s eyes!)

  5. You will need some failures along the way, if it’s all wins you are playing too safe!

  6. Be honest with yourself on the sacrifice you are willing to make to get there. (the opportunity cost)

  7. Communicate this cost, early and often with the people who matter most. (for me that is my family)

  8. Seek someone to hold you accountable, that you actually listen to and has proven in the past to help you succeed/achieve your goals.

  9. Be disciplined in the steps to get there, understanding that there will be speed bumps but these do not derail you from the path.

  10. Learn from those who have walked the path before, there may not be many if your goal is big enough but success leaves clues.

  11. Remember, obsession is a force for good and a source of energy.

  12. Don’t allow others inputs to move you from your path. To achieve unreasonable goals, you need to be unreasonable. Reasonable people will always try to give you a way out or excuse.


Ultimately, self competition is between you and you. So don't cheat yourself on the next level. Decide where you want to compete with yourself, be committed, grind and get after it!



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