To 10 Year Old Matt,
You are already trying to figure this thing called life out, to find your meaning and purpose, to understand why you think differently to the other kids. Don’t worry it will come, this letter is to tell you that you are on the right path.
You love to read, (hence my letter to you) you love to learn.
You have a strong work ethic (for things you love) this will never change. Embrace this.
Take it one step further, learn to give your all even in areas you don’t enjoy. You might find something there. Don’t just switch off if you are not ‘feeling it’.
Your health has been a battle to now, this has made you a fighter. You are strong, stronger than you even know right now. From your hole in the heart, to your bowel issues, you have been probed, prodded, experimented on and learnt the meaning of pain. It’s hard right now but it will forge some of your best qualities as you get older. And don’t worry, your bowel issues sort themselves out by 12 and even though you will not realise it at the time, will be an answered prayer.
Basketball right now is your great love, enjoy this! You will get to a semi elite level and play 5 games per week, train every night and it will be your passion. You will never lose this love of the game. Inspired by Michael Jordan (and the Bulls) and in later years Ben Wallace (and the Pistons) this will be huge in forming your character and how you play with others.
You’re going to be a nightmare for your family in the high school years. An absolute nightmare. You will hang out with the wrong people, think you are a tough guy and generally be a pain in the ass. If there is one thing I could tell you now is be kinder to your parents, they might drive you crazy but they will instil important life lessons to you and they only want to see you win. You may not see this at the time but one of the reasons you can hang out with the wrong crowd is your morals are strong, you will not drink or do drugs, you won’t be bullied into things and this in part comes from them.
You will love school but not for learning, for the people. You are social, you are a leader, you will have a big circle of friends.
You missed taking up martial arts or boxing, (you take this up in your 20’s) start this earlier as it will channel that energy, channel your fire and give you even greater discipline. This and the gym will be a great way for you to release whatever you are holding onto.
You will have multiple teachers say you will amount to nothing. Weirdly, the one that will stick with you the most is your music teacher, who will repeat this to you over the years. You will prove her wrong and her words will be your fuel for many years to come! Be grateful for this. This is one of your strengths. Fight your ego when you see her in later years to point out how wrong she is. Be grateful for the fire it gave you!
Many lessons will come from school but some that will stay for you forever include, you love proving other people wrong. If they say you can’t, you will show them you can! You will stand up for the underdog, you will not tolerate bullies and you will step into fear. Your competitive streak will be honed further through sport and physical education this will become vital for you in the future.
You will avoid wearing glasses for reading because they are ‘not cool’, this will cause you problems in year 11 exams when you can’t read the font…….maybe check the ego on that one as being able to read the words clearly does make a difference.
By age 20, you are going to start breaking some things 😊, and by breaking things I mean your body. You will have a collection of injuries from 20-35 including multiple knee surgeries, break your wrist (again), destroy your ankle, most fingers, some broken toes, get hit by a car and have a full shoulder reconstruction and a replacement disc in your neck.
This builds your resilience, this is a superpower, you get knocked down and you get back up. You break and you rebuild. You never say die and you thrive in proving people wrong. Hold on to this! It would be nice to have less injuries but with each one you will find out something more about yourself and what you are truly made of.
It will not hold you back as you will move into your 30’s and compete in MMA, Ultramarathons and still be at the gym, daily. You will have formed an identity in this space to be an athlete at every age, stick with this.
Also at age 20 you will meet Simone, your soulmate. You will know from the first time you see each other. She is the one! What you don’t know at the time is how perfect she is for you. You will create a beautiful life together. Celebrate all the time you have together, celebrate how lucky you are, celebrate love! Do this often and never forget how blessed you are to have found this at such an early age.
You will have 2 amazing girls – Kyrah and Mirelle. Who would have thought the alpha male raised in a house of boys would find himself in a house full of girls. Oh, the things that you will learn 😊. I will save sharing them for now, but let’s just say you have a lot to learn and raising two daughters will soften you and change how you see the world. They are your whole world, cherish all the amazing memories you share with them over the years. Don’t get too consumed in your other worlds (particularly work) and ensure you have time/moments just with them as that is what matters the most.
You will find your faith after you are married, this will become a foundation in your life that will never fail. You will find strength, peace and joy here. Continue to develop in this area.
You will fall into a career in recruitment and even though you will be told that helping other is the wrong answer at interview, it’s not! It’s the right answer. It will help define your career and what you stand for. You enjoy work that you can find meaning in and recruitment will give this when you see people take the next step in their career, (internally or externally) clients building amazing teams and deliver significant programs of work. You will be reminded of this with each and every placement and interaction. You will build great friendships throughout your career and meet incredible mentors who will invest in you. You will have the opportunity to then give back to others around you.
You will have the opportunity to connect with some amazing people throughout your life that will impact how you see the world, live your life and challenge you to level up. Continue to search out these people. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, get uncomfortable.
You will build out a coaching business. This will grow from strength to strength, this aligns with your passions to bring the best out in others and see them be successful. Continue chasing after this as it gives you unlimited fuel!
I’m not going to spend more time in this letter about work. (as it isn’t what defines you) You know the decisions to make here, and you will be guided in your steps. Give your best always, be clear on your goals, (life by design) always be a person of character and grow each and everyday.
Through your journey there will be challenges, I will not share them with you now. Some will be difficult, some will challenge the depth of your resilience, but all will build you into a better human and help you grow. Stick to your core values, understand who you are and always know that there are shining lights (friends, mentors, advisors) who know who you are, will guide you when you need it and who always have your back. Be vulnerable with those you trust, they will give you strength, advice and go out of their way to help you.
Learn from your wins and your losses.
You love to go ‘all in’ on things, this could be work, physical training, personal development, your blog, breathwork/icebaths, building out your coaching business or any other item that comes to mind. This makes you unique. Continue to do this every year and find a different area of interest to explore. Get uncomfortable. It helps build new connections, friendships and makes life more exciting.
As I write this now at the age of 41, the best is yet to come, you are moving into your prime, you understand your circle, you are wiser at ‘life’, you are clear on who you are, your strengths, your areas for development, you are driven and your work ethic is stronger than ever.
Take your intensity and passion and walk in faith to the next big opportunities that are ahead for you.
Surround yourself with people who share your values but have different strengths, different skills and who drive you to be a better person.
In each area of your life find a person and benchmark to chase after. Learn from others.
There are opportunities from across all areas of your life, explore them. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Continue doing all the things you love but allow space for new experiences to come your way.
Do things you love; with the people you love. Take time to make memories with these people.
Don’t dial down your dreams, ever. Make them bigger and get after it! Let’s GO!!