The Gift Of Presence

Matthew Cossens
Jul 31
4 min read

The past two weeks in Bali weren’t just a holiday. It was a non-negotiable pause, that I put in my calendar every year. A complete switch off.

A time to slow down, recalibrate, and reconnect with the people who matter most.

When you’re building something that demands everything including vision, energy, leadership, it’s easy to forget that the most important role you’ll ever hold is the one played at home.

Before I’m a leader at work, I’m a husband. I’m a father. And this trip reminded me why that identity is the foundation beneath everything else.

As I reflected on the holiday the following stood out to me.

Each day started with a one-hour personal training session with my eldest daughter. Gloves on. Music pumping. Movement, sweat, discipline. But that wasn’t the real gift.

It was the time, just the two of us. Open conversations on the way there and back. Laughter. Silence. Questions. Her curiosity. My reflections.

It was so much more than just fitness. (we’ve been training together for some time) but it was watching her grow in her strength, in her confidence as she put more hours into a new craft. It was having open conversations just the two of us, where she felt heard and supported.

There’s something powerful about one on one time. No siblings. No noise. Just a father and daughter, side by side, investing in more than just reps and combos.

Jet Skis and the Tipping Point of Childhood

One morning we hired jet skis. My 13 year old daughter climbed on behind me. She’s still at that tipping point of childhood where riding with Dad is more exciting than going it alone.

We flew across the water. She gripped my life vest, trusting me to go fast, to push the edge, to “send it” as she yelled out, massive smile on her face.

I could feel it in that moment. This won’t last forever. Soon she’ll want her own ski, her own path, her own space. And that’s exactly as it should be.

But right now, she still chooses me. And that is a treasure I will never take for granted.

When I asked her about the one highlight of the trip, this was hers and is certainly a memory etched on my heart moving forward!

Dinner Tables and Shared Presence

Evenings were spent around the table. Every night. No distractions. Just food, conversation, and connection. Sometimes deep. Sometimes playful. Sometimes competitive especially on the nights were we played Uno! (No Mercy Edition) Sometimes just peaceful silence as the sun slipped below the horizon.

There’s something special about sitting across from your family with nowhere else to be. No meetings. No phone calls. Just being fully present. This is something I need to prioritise more as I return back to the normal routine.

These dinners weren’t extravagant. But they were rich. Rich in meaning. Rich in memory.

My Wife. My Anchor. My Home.

This trip also gave me space with the woman who has walked beside me through every storm and every summit. A couples massage. A quiet walk. Deep conversations under a Balinese sky.

It reminded me again. She is my anchor. My constant. The one who knows my dreams and still chooses to walk them out with me.

We don’t always get enough time together in the rhythm of normal life. But here, we did. And it strengthened us.

The Gift of Switching Off

For the first time in a long time, I fully switched off. Not just from work, but from the constant mental hum of performance, planning, and output.

I found space to slow down and read fiction again. I returned to an author who shaped my imagination as a kid, Terry Brooks. His worlds of Shannara and magic captured me decades ago, and this trip brought me back to that place.

To sit still under the shade of a palm or a cabana by the pool, book in hand, waves in the distance was beyond relaxing.

WHM & Icebaths

It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t seek out an Ice Bath in Bali. Spa Uluwatu became that place. A late afternoon or evening Breathwork session followed by an Ice Bath. This is the place my mind find complete stillness.

This practice sharpens more than just resilience. It brings me back to myself. It’s my place of peace where I can focus on deep meditation.

I’m pleased to say each day I was able to sit within the icebath lowering my RHR to 38 beats per minute in deep relaxation.

I didn’t grow up with trips like this. I didn’t grow up with boxing sessions, jet ski adventures, or sunset dinners. But I get to create that now. I get to offer it forward.